Secrets About Divorce You Never Hear

During this time, whether you're considering divorce or you're transitioning through divorce right now, have you given yourself time to consider what your values are?

When I was a little girl, I was raised to be a mom and a good wife. I learned how to clean, cook, and take care of my brothers, and that was okay. I became a wife. I became a mom. I was raised to believe that family meant you get married once and stay married forever. But the day I realized my marriage was no longer right for me, I felt lost. So now what was I supposed to do? I knew that I didn't want to stay married just to stay married. I was in a real dilemma.

Divorce in our society has a very negative stigma, so it's no wonder that if you're a parent considering or transitioning through divorce, you're likely feeling shame, guilt, and a sense of failure. Our identities are often wrapped up in what others think about us, and more importantly, what we think others think of us.

Looking back over my life, I began to reflect on the values I had absorbed from my family, friends, teachers, and schooling. I realized that my family values were different from the ones I had internalized. I also took a deep look at what my own values truly are—freedom, peace, wealth, stability, integrity, and more. There's a wide range of values we rarely take the time to reflect on.

You need to define for yourself your own understanding of happiness and success. You have to build a meaningful life by looking within, clearing away the distractions, and silencing the noise from your family, friends, social media, and society at large.

When it comes to marriage and divorce, you have to look within yourself to find what works best for you. If you're doing something that doesn't align with your values, it won't feel right. But if you don’t give yourself the time to reflect and understand what your values are, you'll find yourself doing things every day without really knowing why.

Our society doesn't promote thinking, reflecting, or taking time for introspection. I suggest you give yourself that time. Time to reflect on what is most important to you, time to figure out what your values truly are. Once you take that time to look within, you can then act in alignment with those values every day. This will lead to the happy, peaceful, and joyful life you're seeking.

This isn't easy—it requires effort. But you are worth it. Your family is worth it.

To help you get some clarity, I’m offering a 9-day mini-course to help you understand your true values and proceed in alignment with them.

Remember, you are loved, you are perfect, and you’re going to get through this.

Wendy

xoxo